Okay. Madz, that's me and here I am. Again.😉 This is short, very short coz I was in mood for writing so this came to my mind just before 15 minutes and here it is now. Nothing special just about my little thoughts what's in Damon's mind.Forgive me for any mistakes, especially, this time.
~ Bonded By Love ~
Life.
His life.
Human or Vampire, his life sucked anyway, he remembered once he said to Jeremy.
After almost century and a half, someone actually loved him and that someone was not just someone. She was special, the girl whom he loved, even more than Katherine. It was a private joke, what he did with Katherine was love or lust or just nothing as Elena has changed his life upside down. It's like living all over again; it was like all those years were spent wasted behind the idea of falling in love. And what actually love was, right there, he experienced from past one year. He wanted her. He needed her. He loved her. And that was the reason he could not be selfish with her. After the most entertaining and amazing night of his entire existence and being loved like he was the one, he woke up with the lovely, sweet and welcoming morning kiss and then...it happened.
Sire bond.
It hurt. Again.
The most wanted, awaited and dreamt moment of his life happened. He was content for once. He felt like human for once and it was under some stupid spell. Well...that was Damon's life. It would kill universe to make it easy and uncomplicated. He felt his heart break into two but as usual he was ready with the mask of rage and deep down he knew that he wanted it to be just another stupid theory of his baby brother which was not true; he wanted it all to be some stupid joke.
As he searched with his brother, he came up with the cruel reality. She, actually, were sired to him. What a shock! Damon was shocked, angry and confused about what to believe and what not. Angry as fate screwed him again, Shocked as no one believed his, his own brother, her so called friend and just everyone. As if, he was incapable of love. He did not deserve love or care. Was he that bad? Well, yes. He was that bad, he guessed and he knew it. But still...a part of him which became human again with help of the girl he loved, wanted to be loved and it hurt. Was it so much impossible to believe for once that Elena can actually have feelings for him? He wanted to fight. Fight for his love but he was helpless. Elena was unknown about the bond and she was happy. God. He loved looking her smiling like that.
Was it all real? He did not want to doubt her love but the bonding they share before all this mess, was intense, so there was high possibility that she might actually have feelings for her. Damon knew her. He knew that he was the only reason Elena was happy present day but it all came to one question. Was everything they had was fake? Was it just because of the bond? Even if it was...it didn't feel like. It felt so right, so very right. Her smile, her touch, her warm, sweet, short confession in just one word, 'You', her eyes expressed everything. It felt real when she kissed him, when she expressed her desire to dance with him, when she led him. It was all like dreams he had been watching, becoming reality.
And now, he had to risk it. He had to protect himself from the possible heartbreak as he was sure now that his brother would tell her and then there will be plans for breaking the sire bond and once again, it will always be Stefan. In his entire existence, he never felt this much confused as he was now. He had to leave her. He thought she loved her. She might love her. But then there was sire bond. And she might just acting under the bond. He only knew one thing for sure that he loved her. He loved her so much and he could never be selfish with her and that is why he was going to do something heartbreaking for him, for her, for them.
He never wanted to use her. He wanted it to be real. And he thought it was real. Still...he was not sorry. There was no regret because he knew that the night spent with her was the most beautiful night of his life. And he did not wanted to disgrace the beauty of that night by the mention of some magical spell. It was beyond that. It was beyond their physical needs, beyond the romance, beyond any definition of bond they shared, it was beyond enigmatic. It was something inexplicable to him; it could only be felt and not described. But he wanted to tell her.
Informing Elena about the bond was harder than he thought. He could not even compel her or else he would have done that and let her go but he wanted to do it right. He was puzzled, a part of him wanted to believe that her feelings were real and a part of him already knew that they had sire bond, he wanted it real so he had to let go. He told her with aching pain in his dead heart that they had sire bond and her feeling were not real, it was just one stupid sire bond. And Elena kept refusing with tears in her eyes. She refused to believe in this bond thing, straight out, she denied. But he, anyways, repeated the same thing and become the cruel vampire again and left her. He turned his back on her and walked away without a second look because he knew, if he would look at her again, he would break. He would not resist and take her in his arms again. So, he walked away, leaving broken, teary eyed Elena standing like someone had taken her soul. She just stood there watching him fade away into the darkness. But she knew one thing, it was her time, their time. She was determined to make him believe that it was real for her, with or without the sire bond, she loved him. It all felt real to her and she felt like they were not just bonded by some unknown spell but they were bonded by love, too. Only she knew what she felt for him even before becoming a vampire, she still had that passionate feeling in her heart when she kissed him in the Motel. It was real then, it was now. And no one could ever change that. She was sure that her feelings were true; she knew she loved him and he loved him too. They were bonded by love.
He disappeared into the darkness, far more away from her. It was nothing new for him to have his heart broken again but still...every time the pain was alike. A stake in the heart would do better than that. He apologized to his brother with a sad smile, and not even stopped for his reply. He did what he did the best. With the full bottle of bourbon, he sat there, for the first time after the memorial, at his best buddy's grave. For the night, he did not have long speech or whining about anyone or talking his heart out. He had nothing but aching silence and his two best buddies, Alaric and Bourbon. He just stared at the grave for few minutes and then into the brutal, shady and dark night. A single, invisible and almost like a tiny drop of tear, too small to be noticed, rolled down his cheek from the corner of his eyes, through his thick lashes and then absorbed into the emptiness and it was all same again, no one to notice, no one to care. He sat there and drank, in between the silence he smiled once, reminiscing about his memory with Ric, life sucked then too but with him, it was tolerable, he had someone to talk with, to fight with, to share drink with. He missed him. It was all too much painful. So...he stopped thinking and left the half bottle of bourbon for his buddy and left. Only thing he did not realized that his pal was there all the time, sitting on the opposite grave, looking at him with raw expression, and regret that he could do nothing about it but he knew he would be there with his buddy till the end. And he smiled at the half bottle of Bourbon and vanished.
***
Th 🤗
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Edited by iMadz - 11 years ago
